A Monologue Script Writing Practice
This is probably the last time we will have a one-on-one conversation, so I think I should be completely honest with you about everything.
I always thought you are the perfect being on Earth. You are always flawless, beautiful, pure or any adjectives that reflect on your positive characteristics. You are always a thousand steps ahead of me, while I kept struggling to reach your perfect realm. Everyone around me kept praising you and expected me to be as accomplished as you. Even so, I was willing to stay by your side and consider you as my best friend.
(pauses)
Then I learned that no matter how beautiful a rose can be, there are still sharp thorns ready to leave cuts on the fingers.
It felt like falling into a bottomless hole once you began to move further away from me. Every single thought about you began to poison my mind. There were times I kept asking myself if there is anything I could change or anything I should do to make you come back to me. I began to push people away, terrified at the thought that they might leave me as you did. I constantly blamed myself for being such an incompetent person who did not deserve to be a part of your social circle. The worst part of all is I had no idea what I did for you to leave me because you never gave me your answer.
It took me years to finally wake up from this nightmare. I was so relieved that my heart screamed:
(loudly)"I finally found the exit of this endless labyrinth!"
The answer is simple: all of the self-guilt and self-harm is what you want. You wanted me to fall and crumble into ash and dust. You wanted to see me drown and scream in agony for help, while you stood by the shore, laughing gleefully at my demise. Every mistake I made has become a decoration for you to make yourself look better. You thought you can hide your cruel nature, but you were wrong. I had seen it all!
Being with you made me lost my sense of direction. There were days when you were kind to me and we could joke around; then there were days when you sided with your other friends and berated me for my flaws. You probably could not understand how muddled I was because of your unpredictable change that shifted from hot to cold, then cold to hot. You must feel entertained when I was as confused as a lost traveler by your manipulative schemes. If the weather forecast could tell me about your status of the day, I would have had an easier childhood.
I used to sing the songs of praises and pride as your friend. Now I am too lazy to check your current status or knowing if you are doing fine. I am also exhausted from giving those perfunctory answers to my family and friends who are still curious about you. Why there is a need for me to waste my energy on you who do not even bother to value our friendship?
(sighs)
It is fine if you block me or ignore me, whatever. Appreciating the trees around me is better than focusing on a flower that is bound to wilt anyway. If you do not want me to be in your life, so be it. I should put down this heavy emotional baggage and start my new life without you. There are more priorities in my life to focus on and there are people who I should treasure anyways.
Guess this is time for me to finally say goodbye to you, for once and for all.
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